Corn
I jump up like frogger cuss like a logger
Let my logs timber into the water.
Look at me I'm drunk again praying to the porcelain
I swear to god I'm never gonna drink again
Bullshit I'll be drunk again tomorrow
If you got some funds that I can borrow
Look at that lush he's wearing a bib
Drunk as fuck and doing the fish
When I pass out I'm always getting jacked up
With fag on my forehead from all you sick fucks
Ha-ha-ha go ahead laugh it in
Cuz when your past out my nuts will be on your chin

Sled
I'll take a pitcher of ice beer with no cups
No sharing tonight I got to get fucked up
Make it the cheapest ice beer in the joint
So I can get drunk and get right to the point
I'm gonna lower my standards from 8 to 2
Double or triple my chances of getting screwed
Could be you, could be you
It could be him,
It'll probably be him.

Corn

My dad was drunk when he knocked up my mom
And drunk funk is the name of this song
In my daddy's load I was the best swimmer in the bunch
Hey bitch wanna have lunch
I got you some cat food it's a west coast sausage
Yes I know I'm the goose of the gossage
People say I do some funny ass shit
But I'm to drunk to remember any of it

Corn remember that night you peed your pants
Right when that chick was giving you a lap dance.
I don't remember that night too well
But were not gonna talk about that now
What's a matter you don't want me to speak?
Or tell about the couches that you covered in pee
No man I blacked that shit out
If you don't shut the fuck up,your going to time out.
When I pee my pants it's beyond my power
But it comes in handy for the golden showers
I give the lady's what they want
If they don't fuck us there nothing but cunts
We can tag team you, if you want,
I'll take the pussy Corn takes the butt.
And we promise to keep our mouths shut,
We won't tell a single sole that you're a slut,
Yeah cuz that would fuck up are chances
Of getting with your friends for some hot romances
And tell me why would we wanna do that shit
Your friends are hot and got nice tits

"aw shit it's almost 2 dog"

Sled:
The bartender just called last call
I'm drunk as hell but I need more alcohol
I'm feelin' kinda buzzed, feeling kinda twisted
Come back to my pad and prepare to get fisted,
People come from miles around
to get on their knees bow down and go down
on the man the myth the legend Lord Sled
so open up your mouth in a 90 degree spread.
And suck on my cock, its twenty inches long,
Come on everybody take hits from the bong.
Don't forget to breathe don't forget to carb
But don't stop cuz my beer dick won't stay hard

Corn
I can out drink anyone here at Mc'Coy's,
Suga saki suga saki hoi hoi hoi
Hanging with the sausage err I mean boys
Drunken funk is what I employ
Styling at the bar with my beer goggles on
Dam your looking good pretty dam good hun
You got a nice waist and some knocking tits
But between your legs lies your fucking dick
But what's up with this it's a load of crap
And that's what it tasted like when I sucked your cack
That's all right your asshole was tight
And everybody's gonna get drunk tonight!